wishlist
WISHLIST!
Child Psychology Course
A Camera
Laptop
Adidas merchandise
Converse shoes
Outfitter girl dress
a NEW love =)
More events!!!
More time with my kids!!! =)
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quotes
"there is nothing left in your right brain, and nothing right in your left brain" believe me, its true

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random
there is a saying"experience is a tough teacher. it gives the test before it teaches its lesson". this is my experiece, my test, my learnings and my observations. read it, and learn from it if you must, but never criticise it

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When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

u made me love cycling the same way u made me love you.

you did it with your heart.

i miss you.

Baby I will soon be leaving
and I know that you are feeling down
But every week I'll send a letter
To let you know my love will never change
I promise you I'll always feel the same

So remember in your heart
Baby when we are apart
There is no need for crying
Cuz even if I am

Halfway 'round the world
That won't stop me from loving you
Halfway 'round the world
I'll Still be feeling the way I do
And now I wanna hold you baby
Cuz I'm gonna miss you like crazy
Even if I'm halfway 'round the world!

Baby when the miles are growing
You and I will still be going strong
No matter what your friends are saying
Don't give up on what you're waiting for
Cuz one day I'll be knocking on your door

So remember in your heart
Baby when we are apart
There's no need for crying
Cuz even if I am

Halfway 'round the world
That won't stop me from loving you
Halfway 'round the world
I'll Still be feeling the way I do
Now I wanna hold you baby
Cuz I'm gonna miss you like crazy
Even if I'm halfway 'round the world!

If I could you know that I would find a way
To stay for good but I must go now
I wanna hold you baby
cuz I'm gonna miss you like crazy even if I'm...

Halfway 'round the world
That won't stop me from loving you
Halfway 'round the world
I'll Still be feeling the way I do
Now I wanna hold you baby
Cuz I'm gonna miss you like crazy
Even if I'm halfway 'round the world!

Halfway 'round the world
That won't stop me from loving you
Halfway 'round the world
I'll Still be feeling the way I do
And now I wanna hold you baby
Cuz I'm gonna miss you like crazy
Even if I'm halfway 'round the world!!

Dear Ryan,

i miss u and i really miss u bad. u are all that i can call mine. Life without you is pretty mundane, almost lifeless. I yearn for your return every hour of the day, every day of the week. i batter the tears and all the shitty feelings just so that i can be your strength and that you can be mine. I wish for you to hurry home cos our children are crying out for your return. My only wish is to see you sooner, even better- Now. But its almost impossible. How i wish i have ways to be there with you but hell there is no way. I want to hold you in my arms again. I want to kiss your lips again. I want to run my fingers through your hair; althought u dont have anymore now. I want to caress my hands along the contours of your face. The face that i miss. The face of my baby. The face of my little darling that i miss so badly. Baby please come home to me. I love you.

Your Princess

i guess i am just going with the flow and not expecting much. yupp it was good advice. at least it kept me sane. i dont wanna hurt anyone so staying home and asleep is a good solution right. saves money, saves time. No hard feelings or awkward moments.just me in my own room, under my own blanket, on my own pillow. and plus its raining now so staying home would mean no one gets wet. perfect.